As I reflect on this last year, I realize the major theme running through it was Letting Go.
More specifically letting go of attachments. Attachment to how things turned out. Attachment to how people acted or responded. Attachment to what I thought I knew. Attachment to knowing.
Even before 2014 began, I was in an uproar with my ex over something that was affecting my kids. Not in a huge life changing sort of way, but something that was really important to my oldest daughter in particular.
Accusations flew from both sides, and then he and his wife just left the country for the holidays without a resolution. I was furious. I ranted and raved and cried and then collapsed into despair and defeat.
Slowly, I let it all go. I realized I was operating out of an expectation that my ex would see things my way. That he would respond and react in the ways that I had come to expect in our 20 years together. That he would see the emotional turmoil he was putting the kids through.
What I had to realize and accept was that he was no longer the man I knew for 20 something years. He was no longer operating in the same way I had come to expect. He could not see the emotional impact his actions were having on our children. Actually, I had to admit he was doing exactly what he had always done. He was looking at things from a totally practical standpoint, first and foremost. He is an engineer after all. And for him, keeping the peace in his own household was the most important job in his life no matter how that impacted his kids.
Once I opened just a little to these realizations, I opened even more to seeing that we were all just responding to each other out of our own fears.
And with that, came compassion and finally forgiveness.
2014 offered me many opportunities to practice letting go. All the way up until the last day of the year. Just hours before the new year began, I was given an opportunity to practice letting go. There was a beautiful house I wanted to buy. It was gorgeous: pool, spa, koi ponds, views, land, unique architectural design, gorgeous inside and out. And it was shockingly in my price range. It seemed too good to be true and it seemed out of my league.
After I finally worked through all the self limiting beliefs around that desire, I contacted our realtor to make an offer only to find out it already had an offer. I was too late. I had to let go of that particular house.
As we enter 2015, this practice of letting go is expanding and changing into a new intention. One of embracing the unknown and surrendering to Divine guidance.
I have always listened to my inner wisdom, my intuition, my divine guidance, yet I always took that information and ran with it. Sort of like getting the direction and just focusing on that, doing everything to make it happen.
As I look back, I realize how exhausting that has been.
I desire to let that shit go and just surrender to being guided.
Let the Divine Lead the Way – as Tosha Silver says.
So here’s to 2015. Here’s to Embracing the Unknown and Letting the Divine Lead the Way.
May your 2015 be filled with all that you desire and much much more. May you release and let go of all that is ready to go and embrace and receive all that is ready to come.
Look for new offerings, new opportunities to work with me, and a new name and look to the business.
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