Americans recently celebrated the holiday of Thanksgiving — a season of giving thanks.
This year, I was out of the country for Thanksgiving, traveling in England with a small group of people from around the globe. We spoke of the holiday and the significance of it and how it all began. Several people remarked on what a nice concept for a holiday.
Giving Thanks.
I agree. In our discussions, I realized it’s 1 of only 2 American holidays (Thanksgiving & Christmas) where pretty much everything closes down. I think the only things open are the movie theaters, gas stations and the random Chinese restaurant. It truly is a time to gather with family and friends and celebrate.
During one of our days of touring around London we had the mishap of one person losing an iPhone and another having his laptop stolen from his hotel room. Leaving electronics in the hotel room had seemed safe enough especially since there was not a cleaning service included, so no one should have been in our rooms except us. However, one room had a window very close to the roof of the neighboring building which allowed easy access to the room. The person used gloves and stole a laptop, an iPad and an old pair of jeans, probably to wrap it all up with.
Having someone steal your stuff can feel pretty invasive. In turn, this can bring up all sorts of emotions and responses in people, especially when traveling in a foreign country. The person who lost the iPhone was sad mostly because it had been given to him fairly recently by his girlfriend. He had just purchased a new iPhone for himself, so it wasn’t so much about the loss of the phone as the sentiment around it. We often get attached to things not for what the are, but for what they mean to us. He was also grateful it was not the new phone as that would have caused a lot of problems with his communication and work.
The person who had their room invaded and items stolen had a slightly different reaction. He was annoyed and upset of course and even changed hotels in the middle of the night. However, soon he reverted to looking at the things he was grateful for instead of focusing on the loss. He talked about the fact that his passport was not touched which would have been a much larger loss in a foreign country. He talked about actually needing a new computer anyway and even his iPad was very old and needed upgrading. He did not focus on the loss of these electronics which are key to his work. Without them, he could do absolutely no work which was part of the reason for this group gathering in England in the first place. Instead he focused on the positives and finding solutions.
The loss was resolved relatively easily by finding an Apple dealer in London who had the perfect replacement computer, except for the British keyboard layout which he figured he could get used to easily enough. And the best part was we still made it to our train that was taking us into the northern part of the country with plenty of time to spare.
Gratitude.
How do you give thanks? Are you able to give thanks for the little things in life? Are you able to turn around a mishap and ‘look on the bright side’? How do you express gratitude?
Or perhaps you get stuck on the other side like I do sometimes. The side of ‘I can’t believe this happened to me…’ or ‘Things never seem to go right…’. Or perhaps it’s more on the self judgment side: “How could I have been so stupid…’’, “If only I had…”.
If you do fall into this category, how do you usually get out of that place? How do you turn things around, especially when you are stuck?
It’s not as hard as you think.
It’s called Gratitude.
A simple exercise:
- Think of a person who has really been there for you. Someone who makes you feel better or good even things are tough. Someone who, when you think of them, you smile or get that warm feeling of gratitude or love.
- Write down as many things as you can that you appreciate about them.
- Now the hard part: Call them (if you can) and read that list to them.
It’s been shown that although writing out those appreciations will make you feel better, actually telling that person will increase that feeling significantly. I guarantee it will make you feel better, more positive, more loving and more loved.
The above is a quick fix. Use this technique when you are stuck and need something to turn things around a bit.
For a more long term solution, try creating a daily or weekly gratitude ritual.
- Create a jar and put one gratitude each day into the jar. Then at the end of the year, you can read through them and see how your life has changed.
- Try a weekly ritual of the quick fix version described above. Each week, pick a person and write what you appreciate about them and then tell them. Have a conversation with them. Let them know how you feel.
- Create gratitude art. Maybe it’s something small on a daily basis. Maybe it’s something weekly or monthly. Maybe it’s a collage piece of all that you are grateful for during the past week, month, year.
- Create gratitude poems or word art. Try a haiku or a 7 word description of something you are grateful for each day. Perhaps keep a journal and enter words for the things and people for which you have gratitude.
- Create a weekly gratitude theme such as the things you take for granted, or the things or people you find challenging, or maybe it’s as simple as what you appreciate in nature.
- Create your own ritual and share it here in the comments for inspiration.
As you bring more gratitude into your life, you may find yourself giving more. You can write those gifts of generosity down too and celebrate them just as wholeheartedly.
Gratitude is appreciation, so what and who do you really appreciate in your life? I would love to hear about your rituals of gratitude.
If you would like some one on one help with bringing more gratitude into your life, contact me and let’s chat.
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